HOLIDAY DRIVERS

     This morning on the way to work I was cursing all the stupid moves other drivers were making. Not sure if it was because of the rain, or it being so close to Christmas, but everybody's acting like idiots. Me included.

     First incident:
     I was in the right lane, and another car was in the left lane, when a guy on a bicycle appeared, wobbling around in the lane in front of me, then he abruptly careened over into the left lane, and the other car had to brake and swerve to avoid hitting him. Then THAT car abruptly swerved right in front of ME, cutting into my lane without even signalling. And it had nothing to do with the guy on the bike. I growled, "IDIOTS! Both of you!"
     Second incident:
     I came up to a signal just as the light was turning from yellow to red, so of course I stopped. The car to the left of me, however, just barreled on through, and just barely missed being clipped by a guy coming from the opposite direction who was turning left, and had a legit green light. The guy with the legit green light totally SAW the idiot running the red light, but didn't seem to care. I think they came within an inch of crunching into each other.
     Third incident:

Johnny made me do it.

     I was in the right lane, following one of those big trucks that carries a bunch of cars on it, like baby marsupials clutching their mother. Know what I mean? I don't know what they're called. Anyway, I realized the big truck thing was going really slow, and didn't want to be stuck behind it, so I merged into the left lane, hoping to get around it.
     The left lane turned out to be slow, too, so the big truck thing pulled ahead and I lost sight of it. The MINUTE I lost sight of it, I completely forgot why I had switched lanes, and started to move BACK into the right lane. Then I saw the big truck thing ahead, and went, "Oh! THAT'S why I switched lanes!" and swerved back over into the left lane, not wanting to get stuck behind the big truck thing again. I'm sure any other drivers who saw me doing that thought, "Idiot!"
     My excuse for not being at all focused on the road or my own driving is that at the time I was listening to this entertainingly overwrought Johnny Cash Christmas CD, in which he very emotionally tells the story of Mary and the Baby Jesus in between verses.
     It's not a very good excuse.

STAFF MEMBER MOST LIKELY TO

     ASB runs these little popularity contests where the kids fill out ballots voting for which staff members they think are the "best dressed," or "nicest," or "funniest," or whatever. I sometimes get a modest handful of votes, depending on what the category is.
     In November they had a category I had not seen before:

November's Staff Member Most Likely To Be U.S. President
Please name the staff member who you think is most likely to be elected U.S. President this month! State reasons and examples.

     One of the kids wrote this:

Mr. Kovac because he reads a lot, knows
has a lot of knole
knowledge, and is cool.

     I thought that was pretty cute. And it is indeed HIGHLY likely that I will eventually become President of the U.S.A.

BOX OF BOOKS VOL.5 RELEASE PARTY

     Saturday night my husband and I drove up to Chinatown in L.A. with our good friend Matt for the "release party" of a group art project I participated in. "Box of Books Vol.5" was organized by Darin Klein & Friends. (Darin's a curator at L.A.'s Hammer Museum)
     20 creators were each asked to make 100 copies of a little reversible booklet using 11"x17" paper and a clever cutting and folding technique. Subject matter was totally up to the creators.

The Weirdling Woods (I sign each one by hand in magical silver ink)

     I chose to use this opportunity to work with a project I've been noodling with for years. An illustrated children's fantasy story called The Weirdling Woods.

The Weirdling Woods, page 3

     That's all you get, as far as a peek at The Weirdling Woods. I'll be selling them online for $5 each through my Etsy shop: HERE. (Give me until about 11/7/'12 to get it listed, por favor)

Sales table, people, a dog...

More people, and that freeloader dog is still there... (I don't think it even purchased Box of Books Vol.5)

Upstairs zine room, looking down on main floor of exhibit hall

Anthony amid art

The foyer of the facility was draped with black ribbons, a visual theme that was carried throughout the place.

EVERYBODY'S A CRITIC

     I just finished an 8-day stint as a juror on a criminal case in Santa Ana. I didn't know if I'd be back at work today or not, so I gave absolutely no thought to a Halloween costume. I would like to mention that I'm also fucking exhausted from the stress. This morning I thought, "Crap, I bet a lot of the staff and faculty will be in costume and I'll look like a chump."
     So I clipped my juror badge back on, and told my husband I was going as "Juror #125." He laughed politely, and said, "Okay."
     Some of the kids have asked, and I've repeated my bit about being juror #125. Most of them have laughed politely, since they know I was gone because of jury duty.
     One of the 7th grade girls overheard me explaining my "costume" this morning, and I could see her sort of reserving judgement. Then later in the afternoon she came in and sort of drifted up to the circ desk to give me her verdict:

     "I think you could have put a little more effort into your costume..."

     Guilty.
   

DOODLE-DOO : Meeting doodle

SAMPLE INTERVIEW QUESTIONS

1)  Are you right-nosed, or left-nosed?

2)  Do you have a favorite berry? If so, when?

3)  Name the first 5 bikinis that come to mind:
          __________
          __________
          __________

4)  If you could be any character from 1980's sitcom The Facts of Life, whom would you kill?

5)  In one word or less, describe something:

6)  Where do you see yourself in 5 beers?

7)  Finish this sentence:
          I feel my butt if _____________________.

8)  Can you smell like a chicken?

9)  Why? (Does not relate to previous question)

HOVERING BETWEEN HOMES / DEALING WITH A DOUCHE

     This is a strange time for us. We're now sleeping in the new house in Anaheim, with Esther the chihuahua, and a bunch of boxes and basic daily necessities. But most of our furniture is still at the rental in Orange.
     Since the bed isn't there yet, Anthony and I are trading off between the new couch and a camping mattress thingie we borrowed from my mom and stepdad. It's a very small price to pay to be sleeping in our own house, which is beautiful and a lot bigger, and most importantly OURS.
     Professional movers are scheduled for Saturday. Hopefully by the end of the weekend, or very soon after, we'll be FULLY moved out of the rental and not hovering between places. I cannot WAIT until we never have to go back there. I didn't hate living there or anything, and anyplace with Anthony is Home, but I just want to be settled in and through with our stupid (former) landlord forever.
     Our rent is paid through the end of October, so we don't technically have to be out until then. But the landlord is a real douche. He's already demanded that we let him in to see the place, then he had a painter come out and do an estimate. (Which is annoying, considering the landlord never painted for us in the whole 18 years we lived there) Now we're supposed to be there this evening to let the landlord and a prospective tenant in. He actually went as far as to ask if we could make ourselves "available to show the place" for about 4 hours on Saturday, even though he himself would be out of town! My husband took that call and said NO. Especially since that's our big moving day. It's like he thinks we're his assistants, and expects us to hold an "Open House" for him! Like we give a shit whether he finds a new tenant or not.
     When he came by last week with his daughter (seemed to be "showing her the ropes") to check the place out, he asked if everything was working. I said, "Well, for starters the air conditioner hasn't worked in YEARS."
     His daughter gasped and seemed (at least superficially) appropriately dismayed. The landlord pretended to be dismayed, and said, "Oh, that's terrible! Why didn't you tell me?"
     "We DID tell you," I replied immediately. "SEVERAL TIMES."
     Said the douche, "Oh, ha-ha! I guess the Alzheimer's must be setting in early!"
     I glared at him, grunted, "Mm-hm," and walked away.
     Our new house has new air-conditioning AND a ceiling fan in the dining area. And all-new dual-pane windows. So there.